Closing Thoughts
retracing steps with an eye to the future
Here, in the concluding chapter of Autoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex, I recap the contents of the book and mention a couple mental approaches to one’s autoheterosexuality that may be helpful to autoheterosexuals.
I wrote this book to solve a problem: autoheterosexuality is the most common driver of transgenderism and about as common as homosexuality, but almost nobody understands it. This widespread ignorance harms autoheterosexuals by damaging their ability to properly interpret their situation, be understood by others, and give truly informed consent for hormones or surgeries.
I began by sketching the outlines. Chapter by chapter, I filled in sections until a detailed picture of autoheterosexuality emerged. I then zoomed out to the broader autosexual context and showed that for each type of external attraction to others, there exists an internal attraction to a type of being.
With the general form of autosexuality now clear, I touched on some aspects of integrating autoheterosexuality into society and gave special attention to the ethically-fraught issue of youth gender transition. I also argued that epistemic injustice unfairly keeps autoheterosexuals in the dark about their situation and proposed a systemic solution to this problem: implementing the etiological paradigm of transgenderism.
To wrap things up, let’s retrace these steps in greater detail and then end with some thoughts on meaning and direction for autoheterosexuals.
Our Path Thus Far
We began by learning about the two-type model of transgenderism and the concept of autoheterosexuality. We learned how to sort trans people into homosexual and autoheterosexual groups using the two-type typology, and why this sorting method is currently controversial within transgender subcultures.
I listed some common autohet patterns of thought and sexuality so you could determine if you were autoheterosexual, and then recommended you avoid making hasty or rash decisions in light of this knowledge.
We then explored the five known subtypes of autoheterosexuality: anatomic, physiologic, behavioral, sartorial, and interpersonal. I proposed that a sixth subtype—psyche autohet—underlies mental shifts and the internal sense of cross-gender identity that autoheterosexuals experience.
Next, we learned about meta-attraction, the gender-affirming attraction to others that can make autoheterosexuals have any type of partner preference and therefore identify as any of the letters in the LGBTQ political coalition. We also saw how this colorful coalition largely breaks down into just two sexual proclivities: same-sex sexuality and cross-gender sexuality—nonhet and autohet.
I concluded the introductory chapter by arguing that autoheterosexual is the correct word to describe an attraction to being the other sex, and that politically, this term has protective qualities due to the widespread acceptance of heterosexuality.
In Chapter 1.1, we briefly reviewed sex, gender, and transgenderism in order to provide the context needed to properly understand autoheterosexuality.
In Chapter 1.2, we learned about sexual orientation: what it is, how scientists measure it, and some factors that influence its development.
In Chapter 2.0, we touched on the connection between autogynephilic gender feelings and MTF cross-gender development. We also learned about autogynephilic subtypes and modern expressions of autogynephilic sexuality, and explored the connection between mental shifts and trans identity using the Hungarian physician’s case as an example.
In Chapters 2.1–2.5, we reviewed the overall form of autogynephilic interests one subtype at a time. Each subtype had its own chapter filled with historical examples.
In Chapters 3.0 and 3.1, we followed a similar approach to learning about autoandrophilia which started with gender feelings and cross-gender development, led to discussion of autoandrophilic subtypes, and described various autoandrophilic interests in terms of these subtypes.
In Chapter 4.0, I argued that traps are not gay.
In Chapter 4.1, we covered gynandromorphophilia (GAMP), the attraction to MTFs that often coexists alongside autogynephilia. We saw how Samoan GAMPs and American GAMPs have similar sexual preferences, which suggests that gynandromorphophilia is an innate disposition that arises across cultures. To close out, I argued that GAMPs deserve a more respectful term than “chaser” for their sexuality, and that they rightfully belong in the LGBTQ political coalition.
In Chapter 4.2, we saw that mental disorders are highly heritable and trans people have them at higher rates, which suggests that even though societal mistreatment contributes to transgender suicidality and mental health issues, genes are probably the single biggest contributor to these difficult aspects of being trans.
In Chapter 4.3, we saw that autism contributes to gender variance in several ways and that it’s especially prevalent in trans populations.
In Chapter 5.0, we learned about the population prevalence of transvestism, autoheterosexuality, and same-sex attraction. Using these figures, we saw that males are roughly twice as likely to be either gay or autohet, and that there are about three autoheterosexuals for every four homosexuals.
In Chapter 5.1, we saw that ancient Islamic legal scholars differentiated between two types of effeminate males who resemble the two types of MTFs we know of today. We then retraced the path that Western science took to ultimately arrive at the two-type model of MTF transgenderism.
In Chapter 5.2, we looked into the sexual orientation changes that many transgender people report after transitioning. We saw a clear pattern: when fewer trans people reportedly played cross-gender sex roles in their sexual fantasies, they reported less same-sex sexuality. This pattern suggested that meta-attraction influenced these reported changes to sexual orientation.
In Chapter 5.3, we saw that autohet trans is the most common type of trans in Western countries. By applying the two-type typology to data from massive, institutionally-popular surveys of transgender Americans, we arrived at an estimate that about 75% of transgender Americans are of autoheterosexual etiology.
In Chapter 5.4, we saw that in recent years, the demographic makeup of gender clinic referrals has drastically shifted toward females. By comparing the etiological makeup of the US transgender population to the makeup of the broader etiological population, we could infer that being either female or autohet increases the odds of gender transition within the broader etiological population.
In Chapter 6.0, we explored the cross-gender development process in which autoheterosexuals develop affinity for being the other sex and disdain for being their own, and saw that reinforcement shifts their gender sentiments over time. We also saw how this process can culminate in transformative gender identity shifts and the desire to live as the other sex.
In Chapter 6.1, we learned more deeply about gender euphoria, the lovely comforting feelings of rightness that help autoheterosexuals feel at home in themselves. We saw how this internal relationship with the cross-gender self can lead to deep attachment culminating in gender transition—that for autohets, gender transition is about becoming what they love.
In Chapter 6.2, we embarked on a long, dismal journey through the lands of gender suffering and saw how autoheterosexual gender dysphoria can manifest as dissociation, gender envy, depression, anxiety, or suicidality. We also learned about ego-dystonic arousal and shame, as well as the repression that often results from it.
In Chapter 6.3, we explored the question at the heart of the controversy: does autoheterosexuality cause cross-gender identities, or do cross-gender identities cause autoheterosexuality? In the end, the verdict was that autoheterosexuality comes first and cross-gender identity is a potential downstream effect of it.
In Chapter 7.0, we encountered the general form of autosexual trans identity: attraction to being a particular type of entity can make people feel good or bad feelings about how well they embody that entity, and these reinforcing feelings nudge them toward greater identification with that entity over time. We also learned about the etiological theory that explains these autosexual orientations as variations of erotic target location in which the location is one’s own body instead of the bodies of others.
In Chapter 7.1, we saw how attraction to being an amputee can lead to transableism in the forms of body integrity dysphoria, transabled identity, and the desire for limb amputation.
In Chapter 7.2, we observed that attractions to being a minor can lead people to embody youth through dress (diapers and children’s clothing), behavior (age regression), or social interaction (caregiver/little role-play). We also learned about age dysphoria, cross-age identity, and other aspects of transageism.
In Chapter 7.3, we began a lengthy exploration of transspecies identity that started with furries. We saw that furries are usually sexually attracted to anthropomorphic animals and also attracted to the idea of being one themselves. We also touched on research suggesting that furry role-play is associated with a weaker sense of human embodiment and more negative sentiments toward humanity.
In Chapter 7.4, we went deeper into nonhuman identity by learning about therians—people who feel a deep integral connection to an animal species and often identify as an animal themselves. We saw that therians may embody their animal side through mental shifts, phantom shifts, role-play, or engaging in animalistic behaviors. By looking at community surveys of therians, it became apparent that many therians are sexually attracted to the same type of species they identify as.
In Chapter 7.5, we delved into the broader collection of nonhuman identities that fall under the alterhuman umbrella by learning about otherkin, people with nonhuman identities. We saw that otherkin commonly embody their kintype through xenogenders, body modifications, or body adornments that call forth their inner nonhuman self. By looking at results from a community survey of otherkin, we saw that most otherkin report signs of sexual attraction to being their kintypes. We also saw that otherkin identify as transgender at rates that greatly exceed population norms—an overlap suggesting that cross-gender identity and nonhuman identity share a similar underlying cause.
In Chapter 7.6, I proposed the existence of autophylophilic transracialism: transracialism caused by sexual attraction to being a particular race. I conducted an exploratory survey of transrace people and found that most respondents reported sexual attractions both to and to being their identified race. Further analysis of this autophylophilic subset revealed they had good and bad feelings about their perceived racial embodiment akin to the gender feelings of autoheterosexuals. Fittingly, most were also autoheterosexual or transgender. Following in the footsteps of feminists, I asserted that arguments for the legitimacy of transgenderism also apply to transracialism.
In Chapter 8.0, we examined some of the potential sticking points for integrating autoheterosexuality into society. I addressed freedom of dress, the issue of pronouns, and broadening the definition of sexual orientation. I also questioned which forms of trans identity can potentially be integrated into society, and argued that if safe and reliable technological methods existed that could modify nongender dimensions of sexual orientation such as age, species, and location, it would reduce human suffering. Finally, I argued that it’s not transphobic to lack sexual interest in trans people, and that insinuating otherwise is coercive and betrays the spirit of consent.
In Chapter 8.1, we waded into the controversial waters of youth gender transition and found that puberty blocker monotherapy in transsexual minors is widespread yet poorly tracked. After reviewing research on nontrans people, we saw that puberty blocker monotherapy creates a sexless hormonal state associated with a wide array of serious side effects indicative of mitochondrial dysfunction. In light of this evidence, I argued that giving cross-sex hormones to transsexual youth at an earlier age is likely to cause less bodily harm than years of puberty blocker monotherapy followed by cross-sex hormones.
In Chapter 8.2, I argued that suppressing awareness of autoheterosexuality harms autohets by making it harder for them to properly interpret their experiences and make truly informed decisions about how to navigate their gender issues. I proposed two strategies for addressing this epistemic injustice: include autoheterosexuality in sexual education curriculums, and come out.
In Chapter 8.3, I argued that the gender identity paradigm of transgenderism needs to be replaced because it’s strictly inferior to an etiological paradigm that incorporates the two known types of transgenderism—and that to implement this change, transgender researchers must start sorting study participants by etiology and sex in order to arrive at findings relevant to each group.
To close out, I’m going to touch on some mental approaches to living with autoheterosexuality:
Cultivate an unapologetic disposition toward autoheterosexuality that incorporates both self-awareness and self-acceptance (own it, rock it, be based)
Channel the cross-gender drive into embodying virtues associated with the other sex in order to become a better version of yourself and live a more meaningful life
I first came across positive, adaptive ideas like these in Anne Lawrence’s work. I’m including them here for readers who know they’re autoheterosexual, but are unsure of what to do with this knowledge.
They’re meant to be a nudge in the right direction, but they aren’t the whole map.
The Based Path to Self-Acceptance
In spiritual subcultures, it’s common for people to use spiritual ideas and practices in order to avoid addressing their unresolved issues—a phenomenon known as “spiritual bypass”[i]. This behavior has a serious flaw, however: by trying to hitch a ride to the transcendent tip of Maslow’s pyramid via spiritual bypass, spiritual seekers ultimately leave their inner conflicts and wounds intact.
Something analogous seems to be happening among autoheterosexuals who aren’t self-aware about their orientation, except the dynamic involves identity instead of spiritual enlightenment.
Rather than directly confronting its sexual origins and working through the resulting feelings, many autoheterosexuals prefer to conceive of their cross-gender embodiment as primarily a matter of identity. This leaves sexual shame buried deep within, unaddressed. On this unstable foundation of unresolved inner tension, they construct their cross-gender self.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
I’ve talked to enough self-aware autohets to know it’s possible to cut through that inner tension and truly accept oneself as autoheterosexual.
It’s possible to directly face the sexual origins behind the cross-gender wish, work through those uncomfortable feelings, make peace with it, and ultimately come out the other side more emotionally grounded and comfortable with oneself.
This is the based path to self-acceptance, as proposed by rapper Lil B:
Based means being yourself. Not being scared of what people think about you. Not being afraid to do what you wanna do. Being positive.[ii]
A based autoheterosexual can think, “Yeah, it’s ultimately sexual, but so what?”. Rather than worrying that strangers are judging them, they can rest easy in the knowledge that there’s nothing inherently wrong with them. They aren’t hurting anyone.
By owning their situation and their response to it, self-aware, based autohets can avoid the mental gymnastics needed to view their cross-gender tendency as a function of gender identity instead of an outgrowth of autosexuality. They can understand why they behave and feel the way they do without having to rely on questionable gender metaphysics.
Although I have personally found this unapologetic, sex-positive approach liberating, I know it won’t work for everyone. Not all of us have the chutzpah needed for this kind of brazen self-acceptance.
But enough of us do. It’s time more of us took the self-aware route by becoming informed about our orientations and accepting ourselves as we are, without apology.
Harnessing the Cross-Gender North Star
Beholden to technological society, people do what technology demands of them[iii]. Drawn into a digital existence whose artifice falls short of meeting their emotional needs, their desire for love, connection, and meaning often goes unsatisfied. Further limited by innate ability, class, or other aspects of their lives, many never satisfy these deeper emotional needs.
On top of these challenges, we autoheterosexuals also have to address our longing to embody the other sex.
With no uniform solution for appeasing our inner cross-gender spirit, we must repeatedly decide the role our sexuality will play in our lives: will we fully repress, pursue transsexualism, or choose something between these two extremes?
Technology to change sexual orientation does not yet exist, so there’s no way of escaping these decisions. We must decide the degree to which we incorporate our sexuality into our lives.
One way to chart our path through this gender cosmos is to treat the cross-gender traits we admire as a source of guidance—a personal North Star.
The gravity of this cross-gender North Star attracts us, drawing us closer. And although we may not be able to fly outside the range of its pull, we can choose to fall toward it with style by embodying traits we associate with the gender we admire and to which we aspire.
Those of us attracted to being men can cultivate masculine virtues such as strength, competence, courage, tenacity, discipline, ambition, confidence, independence, assertiveness, loyalty, mastery, or honor.
Those of us attracted to being women can nurture feminine virtues such as beauty, empathy, care, compassion, flexibility, love, gentleness, tolerance, sensitivity, kindness, cooperation, or grace.
By integrating valuable character traits, we can better see the value in ourselves. By tapping into this source of meaning, we can feel we matter. By guiding our lives with this inner light, we can carry our love within us, wherever we go.
[i] Fossella, “Human Nature, Buddha Nature.”
[ii] Complex, “Lil B Talks Getting Sucker Punched, Gay Rumors, & Drake Envy.”
[iii] Ellul, The Technological Society; Kaczynski, Technological Slavery.