Behavioral Autogynephilia
behaving like a woman
Chapter 2.3 of Autoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex
In 2019, a trans woman named Mia Mulder made a tongue-in-cheek tweet that resonated among transfems:
Trans women transition for one single, depraved sexual reason:
Dress go spinny[i]
Since then, “dress go spinny” and “skirt go spinny” have become popular memes in online trans culture[ii]. Mulder’s tweet became popular because it humorously tapped into something real: spinning one’s skirt or dress is a common source of joy among transfems, and this inclination is ultimately an outgrowth of sexuality.
This innocuous behavior is a manifestation of behavioral autogynephilia, a sexual interest in behaving like a woman. Any behavior that autogynephilic people code as feminine can fall within this admittedly broad category.
The behavior-sculpting power of behavioral autogynephilia can impact how they walk, sit, stand, or lay. It can even change the way they speak.
Moving in a feminine manner and speaking with a feminine voice are common manifestations of behavioral AGP. Although these feminine mannerisms ultimately arise because of a sexual orientation, they are more likely to provide emotional reassurance or provide a bit of cheer than they are to cause noticeable arousal.
It’s common for autogynephilic people to enjoy walking in a way that accentuates hip movement, stand with hips shifted off-center to accentuate their hips, or sit with legs crossed rather than spread.
Any body positioning or movements that signify femininity can bring joy. Thanks to proprioception, the sense of body position and movement, people can feel where their body is and where it’s moving without having to see it. When autogynephilic people get proprioceptive feedback that their bodies are positioned or moving in a feminine way, they may experience positive, reassuring feelings. These feelings, in turn, reinforce the behaviors that led to them.
Over time, reinforced feminine behaviors happen more frequently and become ingrained habits that occur without any conscious effort. The warm fuzzy feelings may be long gone, but the behaviors remain.
Behavioral Autogynephilia in the Past
Behavioral autogynephilia has existed throughout the generations. In the classic autogynephilia narratives from the early 1900s, some transfems reported behaving like girls from a very young age. For a few, it was one of their earliest memories.
R.L. recalled dressing in girls’ clothes as a child and going to the bathroom not because she needed to, but because she wanted to do it as a girl would[iii]. Another transfem tried to copy the gait of girls and hoped that others might see her as a girl in boy’s clothing[iv].
Sewing and playing with dolls could be part of the behavior, too. After seeing her mom and sister crochet, one transfem developed a “zeal for needlework”[v] that later extended to knitting. She even made two-dimensional dollhouses by gluing pictures of people and furniture into a notebook[vi].
Could these transfems have exhibited such childhood behaviors even if they weren’t autogynephilic? Of course.
But they faced strong social pressure to conform to masculinity, and these memories stood out to them to such a degree that, in their thirties and forties, they included them in the retrospective accounts they wrote about their gender experiences.
As adults, the act of crossdressing put transfems in a feminine headspace and facilitated feminine behavior. In a princess dress, one transfem felt “totally feminine” in her movements[vii]. While in the embrace of a corset, another transfem breathed with her chest and considered it womanly[viii].
Every little feminine movement could bring pleasure and comfort.
R.L. was like this—she treasured “the delightful sensation from the graceful movements”[ix]. For her, any feminine behavior could bring joy, no matter how small:
Every trivial action, such as using a dainty and perfumed handkerchief, placing articles down gently, acknowledging the trivial courtesies generally received by women with a smile and soft ‘Thank you,’ all gave me as much pleasure as the opposite would give pain.[x]
When these transfems lived with females, their behavioral autogynephilia could benefit the women they lived with.
One married transfem boasted: “I treat my wife very well, because I take care of almost all of the housework”[xi]. As a child, another transfem delighted in caring for her baby sister[xii], which eased the burden on her mother.
Another transfem looked after her roommate’s kid like a nanny would. During this four-year period, her libido took a backseat to her role as caretaker. “Bringing up and caring for children is my greatest joy”, she reported[xiii].
Many transfems back then put serious work into developing a femme voice[xiv]. They lived before they could benefit from modern voice feminization techniques, so they spoke in falsetto. But even if their voice was deep, they might perceive it as soft and high anyway[xv].
Playing the Succubus (Being a Bottom)
In the classic narratives of autogynephilia, one sexual tendency shows up especially often: wanting to enact a feminine role during sexual activities.
“I always wanted to be the womanish, passive partner in love-making”[xvi], one transfem characteristically reported.
Almost all of them wanted to be the passive, receptive partner during sex. They wanted to be the one on bottom, lying on their back, and for their partner to have an energetic vigor that complemented their passivity.
They reported this so many times[xvii] that Hirschfeld gave it a name: “As regards the activities they tended toward, almost all of the persons explored preferred the position of succumbentes, i.e., ‘those lying underneath’ or ‘those who yield.’”[xviii]
Almost all of them wanted to play the role of succubus. They wanted to be with an energetic woman and be ravished by her[xix].
Being in a masculine sexual role was not interesting to them. One reported that if she could physically pull it off, it was “merely as a performance of the body”[xx]. Today, we might call someone like this a bottom, in the broad sense of being the submissive or receptive partner.
The inclination to behave like a woman could also lead transfems to masturbate with anal penetration[xxi], which enabled them to enact the fantasy of being penetrated. As the Hungarian physician reported, “the anus feels feminine”[xxii].
In the old narratives, anal masturbation didn’t come up nearly as often as it would today—it must have been quite taboo at the time. However, the widespread prevalence of anal play among contemporary autogynephilic people suggests that transfems of the past almost certainly tried it or were at least tempted by the idea.
Modern Behavioral AGP
Technology and culture have changed, but behavioral autogynephilia continues to present similarly. Modern-day autogynephilic people still tend to be submissive, receptive partners in sexual contexts.
During penis-in-vagina intercourse, they are likely to prefer lying on their back and may even mentally switch places with their partner, imagining that their partner has the penis and is penetrating them.
Since most females are attracted to men and are thus likely to perform fellatio as part of heterosexual relationships, some autogynephilic people like to perform fellatio on dildos as part of their autoerotic activities.
Chastity cages and butt plugs are also popular among autogynephilic people. By locking their penis into chastity, they symbolically demasculinize themselves. By wearing butt plugs, they make themselves ready for penetration and have a constant reminder of their penetrability.
The destigmatization of anal sex has also made it more likely that autogynephilic people will engage in anal masturbation or receptive anal intercourse. If they’re dating a woman, they might want her to wear a strap-on and peg them. During anal masturbation, it’s common for them to anally penetrate themselves using a dildo—which itself may be hand-powered, wall-mounted, or attached to the business end of a fucking machine.
In Sum:
Behavioral autogynephilia drives a desire to enact feminine behavior. Over time, everyday behaviors such as speaking, walking, standing, or sitting may all become more feminine due to emotional reinforcement from behavioral autogynephilia.
Behavioral AGP often shows up as a desire to bottom sexually. It’s very common for autogynephilic people to want to be made love to—to be the passive, receptive partner during sex. During penis-in-vagina intercourse, they are likely to prefer lying on their back and may even mentally switch places with their partner, imagining that their partner has the penis and is penetrating them.
The symbolic power of penetrability makes receiving anal penetration especially appealing to autogynephilic people. Many engage in receptive anal intercourse with males, females with strap-ons, or on their own. They may also perform fellatio on dildos or penises.
[i] Mia Mulder [@Potatopolitics], “Trans Women Transition for One Single, Depraved Sexual Reason: Dress Go Spinny.”
[ii] “Dress Go Spinny | Know Your Meme.”
[iii] Ellis, “Eonism,” 71.
[iv] Hirschfeld, Transvestites, 37.
[v] Hirschfeld, 20.
[vi] Hirschfeld, 20–21.
[vii] Hirschfeld, 60.
[viii] Hirschfeld, 62.
[ix] Ellis, “Eonism,” 88.
[x] Ellis, 85.
[xi] Hirschfeld, Transvestites, 108.
[xii] Hirschfeld, 106.
[xiii] Hirschfeld, 91.
[xiv] Hirschfeld, 129.
[xv] Hirschfeld, 73.
[xvi] Hirschfeld, 77.
[xvii] Hirschfeld, 24,31,51; Ellis, “Eonism,” 65.
[xviii] Hirschfeld, Transvestites, 130.
[xix] Hirschfeld, 179.
[xx] Hirschfeld, 117.
[xxi] Hirschfeld, 59.
[xxii] von Krafft-Ebing, Psychopathia Sexualis, 318.