Autoandrophilia (AAP): Love of Self as a Man

Chapter 3.0 of Autoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex

Dear Reader

I wrote these autoandrophilia chapters so that autoandrophilic readers can have a section that directly applies to them: their existence has been ignored or downplayed for far too long.

Since autoandrophilia is similar to autogynephilia, I will describe it similarly. Pay attention to the parts that seem to repeat. These thematic overlaps illuminate the general form of autosexual orientations.

This is just 1 of 36 chapters in Autoheterosexual: Attracted to Being the Other Sex. You can find all 36 chapters here.

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The “love of self as a man” that autohet females experience is autoandrophilia (AAP). Autoandrophilia is a sexual or romantic interest in being a man. Sexually, it manifests as arousal by the thought or image of oneself as a man (or as manly).

Autoandrophilia can drive a desire to have a man’s body, wear men’s clothing, behave like a man, or be treated like one. Like conventional heterosexuality, autoandrophilia can cultivate attachments, alter moods, and shape how people view sex and gender—both personally and socially.

Autoandrophilia can manifest in ways that are overtly sexual or in ways that are predominantly emotional or romantic. Some autoandrophilic people have a deep emotional yearning to be the other sex, while others find the idea to be a huge turn-on. Most feel some combination of the two.

As with autogynephilia, autoandrophilia causes both positive and negative gender-related feelings in response to perceptions of gendered embodiment.

When autoandrophilic people perceive that they’re embodying masculinity or manhood, they may feel joy, comfort, relaxation, excitement, a sense of well-being, or a feeling of rightness. This upward shift in mood is gender euphoria.

At first, gender euphoria can have the giddy excitement of new love. Over time, these warm fuzzies tend to develop into feelings of comfort resembling the companionate love of long-term partnership. The experience goes from “Netflix and chill” to Netflix and literally chilling. Either way, it’s enjoyable and meaningful.

Perceiving shortcomings in their masculine embodiment can cause autoandrophilic people’s moods to drop. This gender dysphoria is the negative side of gender-related feelings. It may frustrate autoandrophilic people, make them feel alienated from their bodies, or plunge them into depressive moods.

Together, autoandrophilic euphoria and dysphoria put on a good cop/bad cop routine that makes cooperation with the inner masculine self more likely. These feelings elevate the worth of masculinity and devalue femininity. Eventually, masculinity can become synonymous with good and femininity with bad. As this process continues, the urge to undergo gender transition and live as a man may intensify.

Some autoandrophilic people choose to undergo gender transition and become trans men. After transition, they’ll commonly identify as gay or bisexual men. They might also identify using newer, more ambiguous labels such as queer or pansexual. Autoandrophilic people who lack sexual interest in others tend to identify as asexual.

However, the cross-gender journey doesn’t start with the decision to transition. Instead, it usually starts with intermittent mental shifts into a masculine mind state and grows from there.

Autoandrophilic Mental Shifts and Gender Identity

Autoandrophilia motivates people to think of themselves as male or masculine. Doing so is intrinsically rewarding, so it can become their default way of seeing themselves.

Autoandrophilia enables people to experience mental shifts into a masculine headspace in response to stimuli that reinforce their sense of masculinity or manhood. This experience of feeling like a man is an autoandrophilic mental shift.

Initially, autoandrophilic mental shifts tend to be short-lived. They often first arise through crossdressing, being “one of the guys”, or imagining being a boy—all of which may lead to feeling confident, strong, or self-assured.

With continued reinforcement over time, autoandrophilic mental shifts can happen more often and last longer when they do. Eventually, as the gaps between these experiences become smaller and less frequent, the feeling of being a man (or wanting to be one) can become more or less continuous.

At this point, a transmasculine gender identity has crystallized.

Transmasculine (or transmasc) is an umbrella term that can describe a female who identifies with masculinity, identifies as a man, transitions to live as a man, or has a masculine gender expression. It’s another way of saying someone is on the female-to-male (FTM) spectrum.

The process of developing a solid transmasculine identity takes years and only happens to a subset of autoandrophilic people. When it does, this masculine self often supplants their default, feminine self.

Autoandrophilic Embodiment Subtypes

There haven’t been any studies investigating whether autoandrophilia has subtypes that are analogous to the five subtypes of autogynephilia, but I’ll apply those ideas anyway—they are conceptually useful.

After all, the two sexes are different in terms of their bodies and their functions. And people usually behave differently, dress differently, and get treated differently in social situations based on their sex.

• Anatomic AAP—having a man’s body

• Sartorial AAP—donning men’s fashion

• Behavioral AAP—behaving like a man

• Physiologic AAP—having a man’s bodily functions

• Interpersonal AAP—socially being a man

These interests are strictly a sexual turn-on for some people, while others pursue surgeries or take testosterone to meet their emotional yearning for masculine embodiment.

Most autoandrophilic people fall somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. Sometimes the orientation is mostly emotional, and other times it’s mostly sexual. Depending on the circumstances and the person, it’s varying degrees of both.

The same caveats I gave about autogynephilia subtypes apply to autoandrophilia as well: it isn’t always possible to discern someone’s motivations based on their behavior or appearance. However, these autoandrophilic subtypes are useful concepts that can guide autoandrophilic people’s decisions about how they want to manage their gender feelings.

If getting a short haircut, dressing as a guy, and behaving like one would meet most of their needs, then medical transition may not be the right way to go.

On the other hand, if they want masculine physical features and to be socially seen as a man, medical transition will have stronger appeal—especially if they want to embody masculinity and manhood to the greatest degree possible.

The attachment principle of sexual orientation applies here too. If there’s something about being a man that a person thinks about regularly, finds particularly arousing, or places on a pedestal, it’s possible to get progressively more attached to the idea over time.

Stimuli that initially provide strong gender euphoria can quickly become the new normal, which often leads to a desire for more. When autoandrophilic people can’t embody manhood to their satisfaction, they may feel gender dysphoria.

If you’re autoandrophilic, whether or not you transition might be the most significant decision you’ll ever make. And if you decide to go for it, there’s still much to figure out: when to transition, how to do it, and how far.

Knowing that autoandrophilia is behind your desire to be a man can clarify this decision-making process. Rather than wondering if you are trans, you can instead start with the premise that you’re autoandrophilic and then decide how you want to incorporate it into your life.

The Limited yet Sufficient Formal Evidence for Autoandrophilia

Historically, female sexuality has been studied far less than male sexuality. Strong autoheterosexuality is also less common in females[i]. For these and other reasons, there isn’t much about autoandrophilia in the sexology literature. However, people who fit the profile have received occasional mention since the early days of sexology.

For example, all the way back in 1910, Hirschfeld wrote about masculine females who were extremely attracted to feminine men and felt themselves to be gay men[ii]. He compared them to male transvestites who loved masculine women and felt themselves to be lesbians.

Even though the sexology literature is limited when it comes to autoandrophilia, there’s enough to work with. Combining older papers on female transvestism with newer ones on the sexuality of gay and bisexual trans men gives a clear enough picture.

However, the single best firsthand account of autoandrophilia can be found in Lou Sullivan’s diaries[iii], which are truly special and offer deep insight into the psychology of autoandrophilia. For example, a couple years before he transitioned, he wrote:

“Just spent the afternoon in a long masturbation session, just like I’d done nearly all last summer. Imagining I’m a boy and masturbating endlessly.”[iv]

His diaries have plenty of entries that eroticized the idea of being male. He was attracted to the idea of having a flat chest[v] and a male voice[vi]. Years before he transitioned, he identified as a female transvestite.

Lou Sullivan was a gay trans man who spread awareness of gay trans men to researchers, clinicians, and trans people. Before his advocacy, many scientists doubted that his kind existed—or that they were legitimate recipients of gender-affirming medical care.

In the previous chapter, I explained the general form of autogynephilic interests, using classical firsthand narratives. I will use a similar approach for autoandrophilia. In addition to Sullivan’s diaries, there are two other extensive accounts that I’ll draw upon.

The oldest one is of Elsa B., whose account was first published in 1923. He was sexually aroused by transvestism, greatly desired to have a penis, and felt “spiritually male”[vii]. He longed to live as a man and suffered immensely because of his inability to do so.

The other lengthy account is truly fascinating. He was one of Robert Stoller’s patients. Stoller wrote a book-length case study about him titled Splitting: A Case of Female Masculinity[viii]. Stoller referred to this patient as “Mrs. G”, but he’ll be “Mr. G” here.

From his earliest memories, Mr. G had a phantom penis and a masculine entity in his mind that he communicated with. He was also sexually aroused by wearing Levi’s jeans and took pleasure in teaching men how to do manly things like hotwiring cars or robbing gas stations.

All three accounts of autoandrophilia demonstrate an interest in having a male body, so let’s start with that.

Anatomic Autoandrophilia

People who are androphilic (attracted to men) are attracted to men’s bodies. They like men’s muscles, height, broad shoulders, penises, deep voices, facial hair, and other masculine features. When that attraction is turned inside out, it drives a desire to have those same physical features.

This attraction to having a man’s body is anatomic autoandrophilia.

People with anatomic autoandrophilia often want to have a penis, flat chest, facial hair, strong muscles, or body hair. If these desires are strong enough, autoandrophilic people may take testosterone or have surgeries, resulting in autoandrophilic transsexualism. These physical changes help them attain some of the same traits that they admire in others.

Testosterone can redistribute their body fat, thicken facial hair, and masculinize their face. Their larynx can grow, lowering their vocal pitch. If they get a double mastectomy, their chest will have a flat contour. If they undergo phalloplasty (surgical construction of a phallus), they will have masculine genitals.

Autoandrophilic transsexuals are likely to find some of these changes arousing. This might be why a prominent trans man named Jamison Green once noted that “many transmen experience erotic stimulation by observing their own bodies in transition”[ix].

Autoandrophilic trans men may subjectively experience these changes as arousal, gender euphoria, or a mixture of the two. Both are usually appreciated. By contrast, the inability to achieve male-typical body features to their satisfaction can fuel gender dysphoria.

Over time, autoandrophilic trans men will continue to derive satisfaction and comfort from their masculinized bodies. Masculine features affirm the masculine self and allow them to better see themselves in the way they want—as men.

Having a Penis

Penises are powerfully symbolic of manhood, so the idea of having a penis is erotically and emotionally appealing to many autoandrophilic people.

In the earliest thorough account of female transvestism in the sexology literature, Elsa B.’s desire for a penis of his own was obvious. The first time he saw one, he realized it was what separated him from the boys, so he immediately thought about cutting it off and taking it for himself[x].

Elsa B. repeatedly dreamed about having a penis[xi] and got pleasure from dreaming that he had a large one[xii]. When he hit puberty and realized he wouldn’t be growing one, he fell into a deep depression.

The autoandrophilic yearning for male anatomy can even lead to autoandrophilic phantom shifts, which create the sensation of having phantom male anatomy such as a penis. These phantom penises may be either flaccid or erect.

Prior experience with phantom penises is probably common among autoandrophilic transsexuals: one survey of twenty-nine transsexual men found that 62% reported feeling phantom penises and phantom erections[xiii].

Mr. G experienced both phantom shifts and mental shifts starting from a young age. His phantom penis began to appear at age four, after he saw a boy peeing and became envious of his penis. His internal masculine self, “Charlie”, also appeared around this same time[xiv].

Mr. G’s penis was a huge part of his identity. When asked what would happen if he were to lose it, he said, “I wouldn’t be anything. My penis is what I am”[xv]. For him, a penis signified strength[xvi]. He needed it because it made him strong[xvii].

Depending on the erotic situation at hand, Mr. G.’s phantom penis would move wherever the situation demanded. While masturbating, it was inside his vagina. During sex with men, it was in his abdomen. With women, it was out front[xviii].

Lou Sullivan’s manual for female-to-male transvestites and transsexuals includes testimony from a female transvestite who liked to fantasize about having a penis and penetrating a woman with it[xix]. But Sullivan himself fantasized about having a penis and penetrating a man with it[xx]. He later pursued surgeries to enhance the size of his phallus and implant prosthetic testicles.

A Man’s Flat Chest

When autoandrophilic people have breasts, they often compress them with a breast binder to create the flat look they desire. If they don’t have a binder, they might use tape. One creative transmasc even used a corset to flatten his chest[xxi].

With a flat chest, autoandrophilic people have a higher chance of being able to look downward without being immediately reminded of their birth sex. To get that flat look permanently, many trans men undergo double mastectomies.

Afterward, they don’t have to worry about hiding breasts or put mental effort into pretending they aren’t there. Much to their relief, they can go around shirtless like any other guy.

For years, Sullivan bound his breasts and endured chest dysphoria until he finally got them removed. It bothered him to look down and see breasts[xxii], while the idea of having a flat chest was a big turn-on: “If I had a mastectomy I’d have to beat off 24 hours a day because I’d be so turned on by myself”[xxiii].

He frequently fantasized about having a flat chest[xxiv] . He wanted to get a mastectomy for years and was comforted by the thought of getting one[xxv]. For example, once when he was going through emotional turmoil because his partner slept with a woman, his first thought was to get a mastectomy because somehow he’d be able to handle it better that way[xxvi].

Manly Hair: Short Hairstyles and Facial Hair

Autoandrophilic people often want to have their hair cut short into a men’s style and are sometimes excited by the idea of having a mustache, beard, or body hair.

When Elsa B.’s hair was long, it would send him into “fits of rage”, so he kept his hair short[xxvii]. Mr. G and Lou Sullivan kept their hair short too.

One transmasc’s crossdressing started with the purchase of a mustache. Wearing it felt erotic, and when he fellated his partner while wearing it, he felt himself to be a gay male[xxviii].

Sullivan became enthralled when he first noticed that dark hair was growing on his upper lip. He wrote in his journal, “God, I’m shaking with ecstasy”[xxix]. True to form, he then imagined his mustached self kissing a man and got excited by that too.

Sartorial Autoandrophilia: Dressing as a Man

By wearing men’s clothing, autoandrophilic people can cultivate a sense of maleness that confers feelings of comfort, empowerment, or arousal.

Those emotions and arousal stem from sartorial autoandrophilia, a sexual interest in donning men’s fashion. Traditionally, this cross-gender embodiment via clothing was called transvestism.

For many autoandrophilic people, men’s clothing just starts to feel “right” over time. It also helps build up a masculine cross-gender identity and feels like a natural outgrowth of that identity.

Among autohet trans people, erotic transvestism is less common among trans men than trans women. For instance, a study on gay and bisexual trans men found that only a third of them had become aroused by dressing in men’s clothing[xxx], which is less than half the rate that Blanchard found in his studies of trans women.

In the past, some leading sexologists even thought that female transvestites didn’t exist or that they were exceedingly rare[xxxi]. They were wrong about that though.

Female transvestites definitely exist.

Reports of Transvestism

Elsa B. got sexual arousal from dressing as a man. He even had his first orgasm while wearing a suit[xxxii] and became aroused by dreaming about transvestism[xxxiii]. He was willing to forego sexual intercourse, but not transvestism—it was far more pleasurable to him than any intercourse could be[xxxiv].

His thirst for men’s clothing started around puberty and never went away. He struggled against the feminine clothing that his family insisted upon[xxxv]. When he had to wear it, he felt like “a dressed-up monkey”[xxxvi]. On the other hand, he reported that “a great oppression leaves me” when wrapped in men’s garb and that he felt “free and easy”[xxxvii].

Another transmasc got erotic pleasure from dressing as a man in public—a feeling so strong that he “could barely avoid shaking”. He considered his tendency to be “definitely erotic”, and he reported that in the men’s clothing department, his feeling was “one of fetishism”[xxxviii].

One married transmasc reported that he enjoyed dressing up in his husband’s clothing, and even went so far as to place a tampon in his vagina so it poked through the slit in his husband’s underwear. He imagined that he was his husband during the act, which sexually excited him[xxxix].

Although manly boots helped Mr. G cultivate a feeling of masculinity, they weren’t erotic for him[xl]. His transvestism revolved around blue denim Levi’s jeans, which were his favorite source of erotic pleasure:

“There is no sensation comparable, and that is probably because the peak of this sensation involves a large range of feelings, including impossible-to-repress sexual excitement. I feel emotionally strengthened, assertive, confident, and totally unafraid. When I put on [a] pair of levis it’s as though I shed the neurotic crap that plagues me constantly, all of that stuff that makes me hate being a female, or, all of that stuff that keeps me afraid of being feminine.”[xli]

Wrapped in his jeans, Mr. G’s gender dysphoria faded into the background. In his masculine element, he felt strong, secure, powerful, and superior to males around him.

Lou Sullivan was heavily influenced by his clothing as well. Wearing his first leather jacket gave him gender euphoria and a “strange identity feeling”[xlii]. In contrast, when he wore a skirt during sex because his partner asked him to, it stopped him from being aroused because it made him think of himself as a girl[xliii]. He also reported that when he didn’t have a man available to meet his sexual and romantic needs, he could get some solace from wearing his partner’s underwear, which made him feel less alone[xliv].

Why Is Transvestism in Females Reported Less Frequently?

We don’t yet know why females are less likely to report arousal in response to crossdressing, but there are some differences between the sexes and their societal roles that likely contribute to this state of affairs.

Culturally, men are less commonly eroticized than women, and their clothing reflects that. Men’s clothing is looser and less brightly colored, and it tends to conceal more of their body. In comparison, women’s clothing is more form-fitting and revealing, and it has a greater variety of colors, cuts, materials, and styles.

Males also tend to have more interest in things rather than people. By contrast, females are more interested in people and less interested in things[xlv]. This “people versus things” personality trait helps explain why nurses, social workers, and teachers tend to be female, while construction workers, programmers, and engineers tend to be male. It’s one of the biggest psychological sex differences and has even been detected in babies who are just a few days old[xlvi].

Different reported rates of transvestism might also come down to a difference in sexuality. Males are more likely to have object-related sexual interests such as transvestism and sexual fetishism (a sexual interest in objects, materials, or specific nongenital body parts)[xlvii].

All of these factors potentially contribute to lower reported rates of female transvestism. Aside from these obvious and well-established sex differences, there could be other factors too.

Physiologic Autoandrophilia

When Mr. G orgasmed with women, he felt his phantom penis ejaculate[xlviii].

Like Mr. G, Elsa B. also envisioned himself ejaculating. In his narrative, it came in a dream where he was having sex with a woman who was his wife:

“I am married and have a wife. I am having intercourse with her and am happy at the size of my penis and the male form of my chest. Then ejaculation and following that an orgasm which lasted for minutes.”[xlix]

Penile erections and ejaculating semen are physiological functions specific to males that pertain to reproduction, so fantasies about them are arguably examples of physiologic autoandrophilia, a sexual interest in having a man’s bodily functions.

Those bodily functions are unambiguous signs of male arousal and feature prominently in male sexuality—of course some autoandrophilic people are attracted to having those functions themselves. But is a sexual interest in having erections or ejaculating semen the autoandrophilic equivalent to an autogynephilic person’s interest in having female-typical bodily functions such as menstruation, lactation, and pregnancy?

Ultimately, we don’t know yet. Answering this question will require further study.

Behavioral Autoandrophilia

Autoandrophilic people often take pleasure in behaving like men. For instance, they may walk with a confident male strut, urinate while standing, or intentionally lower the pitch of their voice while speaking.

These are manifestations of behavioral autoandrophilia—a sexual interest in behaving like a man.

Like other aspects of autoandrophilia, sometimes it influences everyday behaviors that don’t have any apparent eroticism, and other times the eroticism is obvious. Behavioral autoandrophilia can influence behavior even prior to puberty, but it’s less likely to feel overtly sexual before then.

For example, Elsa B. used to play only with boy’s toys as a kid. He felt ashamed to play with girl’s toys, and if he received any, he had a habit of throwing them into the fire[l].

As an adult, he peed standing up, had a masculine strut with long steps, and worked hard even during his period[li]. He would also masturbate while lying on his stomach and “making the movements of a male in coitus”[lii].

A different transmasc person recalled that as a kid, they had a lot of toy guns and would play cowboys with the neighborhood boys. When one of those boys peed standing up, they got the idea to try it themselves[liii].

As a kid, Lou Sullivan had a habit of pretending he was a boy. In a letter to Blanchard, he recounted a childhood game, “playing boys”, that he and his sisters played together. Sullivan wrote, “We took boys’ names, dressed as boys, mimicked a male voice and spent the entire day pretending we were boys”[liv]. He liked the idea of being a boy so much that he would pretend he was a boy even when he was alone or dressed as a girl.

Masculine Sexual Behavior

In sexual matters, autoandrophilic people often want to play a man’s role.

During receptive vaginal intercourse, they may fantasize about being penetrated anally[lv]. They might also prefer anal intercourse because it doesn’t conflict with their masculine self-image in the way that vaginal penetration does.

One trans man reported that pre-transition, he’d prepare for sex by getting “rat-assed drunk”. During sex, he felt alienated from his female body: “Somebody was sticking something in me when I was supposed to be sticking something in them”[lvi].

Other trans men have a similar desire to be the penetrating partner. In a case study of two androphilic trans men, both of them had the same favorite sexual position: kneeling behind their partner while rubbing their genitals against their backside and stroking their penis. During this, they would imagine that they were anally penetrating their partners[lvii].

Like those other trans men, Lou Sullivan also fantasized about penetrating another man with his penis. He wanted “to fuck a boy, and to be on top and inside”[lviii].

Mr. G: A True Bad Boy

Mr. G took pleasure in being better than men at their own activities and aspired to embody the type of aggressive, powerful masculinity that gets men placed in the “bad boy” category. In Mr. G’s world, women were fragile and men were invulnerable, strong, and powerful[lix].

Mr. G associated driving with men and said he “could drive better than any man on the road”[lx]. He learned to drive at fourteen and got a trophy from winning a Powder Puff Derby that same year. The first time he drove a car alone, it was one he stole.

Around age eighteen, Mr. G intentionally drove a motorcycle over an old man[lxi]. While drag racing, he got pulled over by a cop and proceeded to back into his car[lxii]. Another time, he shot a cop in the ass[lxiii]. He robbed half a dozen gas stations “for kicks”[lxiv], and he put five bullets into a man who slept with his girlfriend[lxv].

Mr. G constantly behaved in ways that would be described today as “toxic masculinity”. His violence was mostly directed toward men because he didn’t think men could be hurt. The actions described here are a small fraction of the total mayhem he caused.

As mentioned previously, he took pride in teaching men how to rob gas stations and steal cars[lxvi], and the way he talked about all of these escapades made his gendered motivations clear:

“Those boys and those men respected me for my knowledge and my ability to do things that most men do. How many women do you know that go around hot-wiring cars? Not very many.”[lxvii]

Being respected by men was gratifying to him. Even if he couldn’t be a guy, he could still validate his masculinity by being even more manly than the men around him.

This desire to occupy a man’s social role and be seen as masculine by others is similar to behavioral autoandrophilia, but instead of being based on the behaviors of the autoandrophilic person themselves, it’s based on the actions, perceptions, and behaviors of other people.

This social dimension of autoandrophilia—interpersonal autoandrophilia—is where we’ll go next.

In Sum

• Autoandrophilia (AAP) is a sexual interest in being a man. This sexual attraction to embodying masculinity is how autoheterosexuality manifests in females.

• An autoandrophilic person is likely to see masculine embodiment as emotionally rewarding and feel uncomfortable when they perceive shortcomings of masculine embodiment. These positive and negative feelings shape their gender identity over time and tend to increase their overall commitment to masculinity.

• Although scientists haven’t yet empirically verified that there are at least five subtypes of autoandrophilia as they have for autogynephilia, there are firsthand accounts in the sexology literature that indicate autoandrophilic people can have sexual interest in embodying masculinity through their bodies, bodily functions, behavior, dress, or social standing.

• Autoandrophilic trans identity forms over time through reinforcement. At first, autoandrophilic mental shifts create a temporary sensation of having a masculine headspace. With time, they tend to happen more often and last longer when they do. Eventually, this masculine mind state can become a solidified masculine identity.

• Anatomic autoandrophilia drives a desire to have a man’s body. Autoandrophilic people often want to have a flat chest, facial hair, or a penis. It’s common for them to wear a binder to flatten their chest or use prosthetic genitals to create the feeling of having these masculine traits.

• Sartorial autoandrophilia drives a desire to wear men’s clothes. Dressing as a man can initially be erotic, but over time it may simply feel comfortable or reassuring. Although erotic transvestism seems to be less common in females, it has still been reported plenty of times. Female transvestism definitely exists.

• Behavioral autoandrophilia drives a desire to behave like a man. It can motivate an autoandrophilic person to walk with a confident male strut, pee standing up, or speak with a low voice. It can also make them want to be the active, insertive partner during sexual intercourse.

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[i] Klára Bártová et al., “The Prevalence of Paraphilic Interests in the Czech Population: Preference, Arousal, the Use of Pornography, Fantasy, and Behavior,” The Journal of Sex Research 58, no. 1 (January 2021): 86–96, https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2019.1707468.

[ii] Magnus Hirschfeld, Transvestites: The Erotic Drive to Cross-Dress, trans. Michael A. Lombardi-Nash (Buffalo, NY: Prometheus Books, 1991), 156.

[iii] Lou Sullivan, We Both Laughed in Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan, ed. Ellis Martin and Zach Ozma (New York: Nightboat Books, 2019); Lanei M. Rodemeyer, Lou Sullivan Diaries (1970-1980) and Theories of Sexual Embodiment, Crossroads of Knowledge (New York: Springer, 2018).

[iv] Rodemeyer, Lou Sullivan Diaries, 163.

[v] Rodemeyer, 102, 146.

[vi] Rodemeyer, 102.

[vii] Wilhelm Stekel, Sexual Aberrations: The Phenomena of Fetishism in Relation to Sex, vol. 2 (London: John Lane, 1930), 304, https://archive.org/details/b29817043_0002.

[viii] Robert J. Stoller, Splitting: A Case of Female Masculinity, The International Psycho-Analytical Library, no. 97 (London: Hogarth Press, 1974).

[ix] Jamison Green, “Autoandrophilia?,” Transgender Tapestry 93 (Spring 2001), 20, https://archive.org/details/transgendertapes9320unse/page/20/mode/2up.

[x] Stekel, Sexual Aberrations, 299.

[xi] Stekel, 287.

[xii] Stekel, 286.

[xiii] V. S. Ramachandran and Paul D. McGeoch, “Phantom Penises in Transsexuals,” Journal of Consciousness Studies 15, no. 1 (January 2008): 9, https://philpapers.org/rec/RAMPPI-2.

[xiv] Stoller, Splitting, 37–38.

[xv] Stoller, 13.

[xvi] Stoller, 24.

[xvii] Stoller, 16.

[xviii] Stoller, 16–17.

[xix] Louis G. Sullivan, Information for the Female-to-Male Crossdresser and Transsexual, 2nd ed. (San Francisco: self-pub., 1985), 8, https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/files/g158bh442.

[xx] Rodemeyer, Lou Sullivan Diaries, 36.

[xxi] Robert J. Stoller, “Transvestism in Women,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 11, no. 2 (April 1982): 104, https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01541978.

[xxii] Rodemeyer, Lou Sullivan Diaries, 35.

[xxiii] Rodemeyer, 146.

[xxiv] Rodemeyer, 102.

[xxv] Rodemeyer, 172.

[xxvi] Rodemeyer, 147.

[xxvii] Stekel, Sexual Aberrations, 295.

[xxviii] Stoller, “Transvestism in Women,” 103.

[xxix] Rodemeyer, Lou Sullivan Diaries, 184.

[xxx] Walter Bockting, Autumn Benner, and Eli Coleman, “Gay and Bisexual Identity Development Among Female-to-Male Transsexuals in North America: Emergence of a Transgender Sexuality,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 38, no. 5 (October 2009): 692, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-009-9489-3.

[xxxi] Robert J. Stoller, Sex and Gender: The Development of Masculinity and Femininity (London: Karnac Books, 1984), 194.

[xxxii] Stekel, Sexual Aberrations, 302.

[xxxiii] Stekel, 284.

[xxxiv] Stekel, 289.

[xxxv] Stekel, 294.

[xxxvi] Stekel, 282.

[xxxvii] Stekel, 302.

[xxxviii] Stoller, “Transvestism in Women,” 103.

[xxxix] Sullivan, Female-to-Male Crossdresser and Transsexual, 7–8.

[xl] Stoller, “Transvestism in Women,” 105.

[xli] Stoller, 105.

[xlii] Rodemeyer, Lou Sullivan Diaries, 14.

[xliii] Rodemeyer, 24.

[xliv] Rodemeyer, 27.

[xlv] Richard A. Lippa, “Gender Differences in Personality and Interests: When, Where, and Why?,” Social and Personality Psychology Compass 4, no. 11 (November 2010): 1098–110, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00320.x.

[xlvi] Jennifer Connellan et al., “Sex Differences in Human Neonatal Social Perception,” Infant Behavior and Development 23, no. 1 (January 2000): 113–18, https://doi.org/10.1016/S0163-6383(00)00032-1.

[xlvii] Bártová et al., “Prevalence of Paraphilic Interests.”

[xlviii] Stoller, Splitting, 14.

[xlix] Stekel, Sexual Aberrations, 286.

[l] Stekel, 281.

[li] Stekel, 281.

[lii] Stekel, 287.

[liii] Stoller, “Transvestism in Women,” 103–104.

[liv] Lou Sullivan, letter to Ray Blanchard, November 1, 1987,  https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/files/wh246s217.  

[lv] Robert Dickey and Judith Stephens, “Female-to-Male Transsexualism, Heterosexual Type: Two Cases,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 24, no. 4 (August 1995): 441, https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01541857.

[lvi] David Schleifer, “Make Me Feel Mighty Real: Gay Female-to-Male Transgenderists Negotiating Sex, Gender, and Sexuality,” Sexualities 9, no. 1 (February 2006): 67, https://doi.org/10.1177/1363460706058397.

[lvii] Dickey and Stephens, “Female-to-Male Transsexualism,” 443.

[lviii] Rodemeyer, Lou Sullivan Diaries, 36.

[lix] Stoller, Splitting, 64.

[lx] Stoller, 54.

[lxi] Stoller, 61.

[lxii] Stoller, 63.

[lxiii] Stoller, 182.

[lxiv] Stoller, 60.

[lxv] Stoller, 178.

[lxvi] Stoller, 67.

[lxvii] Stoller, 67.